Why do I dream with her nightly?

Why don't you invite her to have lunch with you and then tell her everything you have said here. Sounds like you behaved like a jerk so she at the least deserves an apology. You will never know how she feels or how she felt if you don't at least try to talk to her. I wish you the best of luck. If anything works out for you come back and let us know. I love love stories with a happy ending.